Divorce after-care planning came up in conversation this morning as a friend and I rehashed a case. Here’s the thing about divorce in Florida: judges have a ton of discretion if your case goes to trial. And you rarely get your “best day” in court. You don’t even get your best day at mediation all that often.
When you do not get what you think you “should” have received in your divorce, you have two choices:
- Complain about how you were wronged
- Put together a divorce “after-care plan”
As a social worker, clients always received an after-care plan. Attorneys don’t work that way, unless you have a collaborative divorce team. So that means that you will be on your own to develop your post-divorce after-care plan. Because, let’s face it, it is what it is. The decisions have been made. Now you need to move on with life.
What is A Post Divorce After-Care Plan?
In general, an after-care plan sets out the issues or problems to be addressed, a time frame for addressing them and the resources and methods for how they will be addressed, along with how to measure the success. Divorce after-care plans are no different. Make a list of the issues you now face, the resources you will use to address them, the time frames and how you will measure success.
Maybe your issue is not having enough money after the divorce and having to re-enter the workforce. With the change in how Florida child support is calculated and the reluctance of judges to allow anyone to stay at home with the children, even when daycare costs more than what is earned, it’s quite likely that you will be working after divorce. Even if you haven’t worked for a long time. What are the barriers to you becoming employed? How will you work around those barriers? How long will it take you? Answer these questions and you will have your own personalized post-divorce after-care plan.
Need Help Creating Your Post Divorce After-Care Plan?
You can visit my optimal living site for more information about working with me on your post divorce after-care plan. You can also listen to the recordings from the Divorced Parent Telesummit to get started. If you know other divorce coaches, check with them about developing your after care plan. My co-host of the Divorced Parent Telesummit is Shelley Grieser who is a Christian Divorce Coach if you want that special perspective incorporated into your divorce after care plan.
Divorce After-Care Plan Alternative
Divorce is a process that does not end with your final judgment. Recognizing this is an important part of the healing process after divorce. You need to move into action and make smart decisions after divorce. No matter whether you work on your own or with a professional, developing a post divorce after-care plan is a great first step. A divorce after-care plan will help you make better decisions and move into action.
Allow yourself time to grieve your relationship, but recognize that you cannot dwell on your losses. As soon as possible, move into an examination of the good and the bad from your marriage so that you can become a better person. And you won’t make the same mistakes twice either. Work through your feelings with a journal, a counselor or a divorce coach or support group. Letting go is essential if you want move on with your life.
Develop a written post divorce after-care plan when you are ready to move on and get ready to start the next chapter of your life. Remember, if you need help with you post divorce after care plan, contact me.