Is Collaborative Divorce Law Right for Everyone?
The success of the
process greatly hinges on the ability of the parties to deal openly and
honestly with one another, in good faith, without fear or feeling of
intimidation or coercion. In order to accomplish the goals of the
collaborative process, each party must perceive himself/herself to have
equal power in the decision-making.
At the start of the
process, counselors and other professionals provide assistance to the
parties to de-escalate any tensions in order to allow the collaborative
process to unfold. Sadly, such input is not
always enough. For example, the presence of domestic abuse in a
relationship disrupts the power dynamic in a relationship. This
imbalance of power will interfere with core principles of the collaborative process: mutual respect, trust, and equality in decision-making.
Some relationships may
have experienced episodes of name-calling or extreme fighting, which
may be infrequent and not really affect the balance of power between
the parties. In these cases, the collaborative process may still be
appropriate, particularly when guided by the Collaborative
professionals. High conflict in a relationship does not necessarily equate to an imbalance of power.
In other relationships,
one spouse's poor mental health may lead the other to feel in a
constant state fearfulness, watchfulness, distrust, and a feeling of
being trapped. The issues can be addressed and even successfully
treated with proper counseling, psychotherapy, or medication, but takes
a concerted and ongoing willingness on the part of the spouse with
these issues to make a change for the better. Rarely do these issues
ever resolve without significant mental health provider intervention.
If anything above describes your spouse, you will need to have an assessment of your situation by a trained Collaborative Divorce Law attorney.